Play, Pause, Rewind

Have you ever feel like you've been hurt for so many times and then you just had enough? You want to imagine that your life is an iPod. Where you can alway push Pause and Rewind whenever you like. Never give anything for granted. When you think anything is fine, take a look around, are you standing on the ledge? If you do, just be careful, you may fall anytime. When you do, find anything that'll keep you alive, so you can climb back to the top. When I said to the top, I mean, you can feel comfortable with yourself, with the people around you. Not just love. You can't hang on love all the time, love for you friends and families probably okay, but for that "special person". No you can't, not until he put ring on your finger. Before you tight the knots. When that day comes, you will know that you are standing on the top of the world.Until then, be aware, you're still on your own.

Meet me between your lips

"We only made out, you never kissed me..
That's how I learn to hold back all feelings..."
-Make Up Smeared Eyes by Automatic Loveletter

You do know that there's a huge difference between kisses and make outs? Kisses are... some romantic bullshit. I will tell you some cliche stuff that I'm starting to feel. When you kiss someone... You will know that you love is not based on lust. That's the difference. Make outs had lust written all over it. When you kissed... You will feel that "butterflies in my stomach" moments. Can't believe I'm blogging about this, since I told you that I almost won't believe in these piece of crap they called love. But then I realized, or you can say, I was confused.. Those tender kisses mean something, even if you tried to denied it, you'll see behind them, that you do feel something deep. Something that kisses could only describe. Notice this : Make outs are nothing compared to kisses. Kisses showed someone how you wanted to treat them well, how you love them, how you actually care. Kisses are some caring gestures. While make outs showed... how you wanted their touch, their "touch" I must say.

Love Robo

All I've got are these photographs
I remember when I used to make you laugh
I don't wanna be stuck in the past
But you're all that I have that I had
And I don't wanna lose what we built this far
This is me and you, you're my superstar
I'd give anything, baby here's my heart
My heart, my heart
-Photograph (Rihanna feat. Will.I.Am)

Fvck it to the word called 'Love'

by Alephunky on DeviantArt

Off-Guard

So what's up folks? This time, I'm writing about my love friggin' life. It sucks. You do know that I have been forgotten about my recent relationship, at last? Yes, I was over it. But he came back to my life sooooo easily. How could this happened? I was called off-guard. I thought I was strong enough to face him. But yet, whenever I saw him, I wanna hold him instead. I miss his hugs, I miss cuddling with him, I miss those lips, I miss it when he laugh about my stupid-yet-not-so-funny jokes. THAT'S IT, I SAID IT! HAPPY NOW?

I swore I was over it, what were you thinking when you called me in the middle of the night just to accompanied you? What were you thinking when you called me sweetie at the end of your sentence? What were you thinking? I mean, How do you feel? Did I cross your mind or something? Did I? If I did, what did you feel? Did you feel those butterflies in your stomach. You said that you missed me.. As what? You do know that I still care about you right? That's why I was worried when your injury gotten real bad. Okay, I'll be right back, I have to cry it out first.

Clear Air, Cleaning Mind

This time, I'm gonna tell you about the short but yet a fun trip I had with my friends, and some people I just met. You know how I feel lately, don't you? Well if you don't, then you haven't read all of my posts. :) I will give you some time to read them......

Have you read it all?

Okay so here it goes...
Jakarta hasn't been that nice to me anymore. All of those craziness, traffic jams, and also the people, I'm sorry to say, but I'm tired of all of them. I have to clear my mind, I need to go somewhere where people won't find me, where I feel like I don't need to think, a place where I just need to breathe, and have a pleasant time. One day, I saw my friend's tweet on Twitter, her name is Erfiza Najma, but I called her Najim. She had the same problem, so there I go, replied her tweet and asked her to go to somewhere with me, nothing fancy, all we need was just two pieces of clothes, small amount of money, that's it. We'll figure out what we'll do when we get there. And we did it, we went to Yogyakarta, by train. It's a funny thing, we haven't gone that far using the train, no air-con, little comfy seats, and there we go. Sitting, talking, sleeping, taking pictures, and laughing about some odd things we found on our way. Okay for your information, Najim and I are no familiar with Yogyakarta, I just been there for only two times, back when I was a little innocent girl, and the second time was for only 2 hours, my highschool study tour. Najim? Even worse, she's been to Yogyakarta only for the highschool study tour. So when we got off the train and the station, we were like,"well, uhm okay, finally, we arrived, but.... uhmm.. where should we go? Even to Malioboro" we looked like total idiots! ahhahaha, until some Becak guy, offered us a lift for 10thousand rupiahs. Which is pretty expensive, not in Jakarta, it was super cheap! LOL. When we arrived at Malioboro, we went to the McDonalds instead, we were looking for an outlet, since both my cell or Najim's cell reached low battery. Because we had to meet my another friend, Annisa Nurmala Sari, but we called her Bahar. She's coming to Yogyakarta from Semarang, she's going to school there. But, no outlets were working, so we're hoping to God, Bahar received our last text and our last hope. Thank GOD! Bahar came along, she found us! So after we met Bahar, three of us going to Bahar's house using becak. Yeap one becak and three of us. I feel pity for the guy that pedaling the becak. LOL. When we got to the Bahar's house, Najim hastily going to the bathroom, she felt filthy because we're sitting on the train for 9 hours. Me? Don't ask, I didn't take a bath. I was just too excited. But then Bahar made a confession, she said that her house was going to be full, because all of her father's friends gonna stay there. Najma and I were looking at each other, wondering where we'll gonna sleep that night. But then, Bahar said that her father's gonna pay for us to stay in the hotel. We were like,"Okay that'll solve it". That night, Bahar's father invited us to have a dinner near the Keraton, and this time we didn't have to take becak, since Bahar's car was takin us there.



One thing led to another, and we arrived at the hotel Bahar was talking about, we were... uhmm, pretty shock, it was MELIA. A famous five stars hotel, okay we didn't expect that. We were expecting some cheap hotels that just provide beds? hahaha. Then we had a wonderfull sleep, all three of us. I woke up earlier, had a chat with best pal yet kinda crazy about trips like this, Samuel Evander, or Evan. I can tell that he was jealous. (ADMITTT IT!LOL) I couldn't get back to sleep, while Najim and Bahar are still in their Dreamland. So I decided to take a bath (at last) and went downstairs to had a cup of coffee and tweet about my trip so far. Some of my friends are pretty jealous, since they're stuck with Jakarta's Madness. 8 o'clock, Najim and Bahar still not awake. So I went upstairs again and woke them up, Najim was pretty easy, but Bahar... Gosh I wish I could just dragged her to the bathroom. Lol, she even received call from her mom with her eyes closed and still glued to the bed.
See what I was saying? Haha. Okay that day we went to 5 places, Prambanan, Kraton Ratu Boko, Rumah Teletubbies and Taman Pintar (fyi:Evan told me about this Taman Pintar place, it was like some discovery park for little kids, but it was fun anyway!) and also we went to alun-alun selatan which they have this myth that said, if you could walk across two bayan trees blindfolded, all your wishes come true (it's a myth! But we tried it anyway haha)



See? We had a wonderful time! But here's the prob, Najim and I was planning to go home that night (Tuesday Night) so we arrived on Wednesday Morning and we'd be able to go to school (yea rite) haha, but it was a public holiday, so all the trains were so expensive, the cheap one was 350k rupiah, while using an airplane next morning was 355k rupiah. Okay, we made our choice, airplane it is. BUT..... There's this but... Bahar will be going back to Semarang that night, therefore we didn't have any place to stay, but thanks to Najim, she has couple of friends in Yogyakarta. We thought, we'll figured it out later, when night comes (idiot isn't it?) Haha so then after we separated with Bahar, we went to McDonald's on Jalan Sudirman, which is McDonald's is the only place we knew that opened for 24 hours. When we got to the McDonald's we met out highschool friend, Tika, she went to Yogyakarta for college, and she brought her friends, they're cute I must say. LOL. This is what you'll say when you're single for 7 months. Haha. But they had to leave. So we're back with ourselves. But then Najim's friends met us at KFC across the mcDonald's. They are Desta, Aga and Acil. We talked and talked and talked until, it's already 1 o'clock in the morning. WOW. Aga and Acil offered us a place to take a nap, their boss's dorm room. It's an empty room, their boss neve used it. We couldn't stay at Desta's because it's just too far from the Airport. And then Aga and Acil took us to the dorm room by their motorbikes. I must say, it was wicked! Super nice, we were able to see what's it like to be outside Jakarta, inhaling the clear air. Gosh, priceless! When we got to the dorm room, we couldn't sleep, remembering we'll be leaving at 9 o'clock. So we're just having convo.
Next up, the sun was rising, can't believe we'll be leaving in a couple of hours. Gosh if only, if only, I don't need to leave. I don't need to be back in Jakarta's Madness. I WOULD. Thanks to all those people whom I mention in this post. Without you guys, this trip wouldn't be that cool!

Bittersweet

Hey there... Haven't been in front of my compy for quite a while, hard to admit, but blackberry kept me away.. Haha okay I kinda need that piece of crap since no one replied my text messaging no more. How's life? Hope you all doin' good. Don't ask me. I've been the same, these past 6 months. Until this time, I haven't figured out what should I do beside softball, and school. Okay maybe I do a little things differently, such as going somewhere spontaniously.. I did that just to clear my mind, I did a little trip with my best friends. And guess what? When I got there, all the things in my mind, they're all gone. Really, I didn't even have a second to think about them. About love life and those piece of craps. Call me crazy, I admitted that I didn't believe in love anymore. I got hurt for so many times. This time, I will stand on my feet, held my head up high. If it's meant to be it will be. I've said it for a zillion times. I never thought I can get so bored easily. Even just for a month. When you thought he was "someone" and you spent alllllll the time with him, when you thought you feel comfy with him, suddenly... BOOM... He made a mistake, just a little one, you'll think, I don't wanna get hurt again this time. And then you take one step back, when at the end, you'll make a huge step (backwards). You want to forget, so you won't hate him at the end. I really hope somehow, at one point, someone will show me what I've been missing, why I should believe in love again, why I should get back into that "butterflies in my stomach" moment. I really hope. Okay, guess I do believe in love. My love for softball. That's all. I can get all the craziness out of my mind everytime I played, everytime I held my gloves, everytime I put on those shoes, everytime I stepped on the field.

I Would Say Au Revoir as Bonjour

Yesterday I went to the airport, as I always say, I hate airports as well as I hate goodbye(s). My greatest friend, Una has left Jakarta for France for a long time. So it's much like a long time and a long way. I'm gonna miss you my friend. This is the story how I friends with her.

At that time, I was just starting this thing they called high school. Rough tough. 10th grade. First time I get into the class I was lost, I was nobody, I know... nobody. I sat alone, with two girls in front of me. You can tell that they barely knew each other either. And then my homeroom teacher got into the class calling our names and the class almost started. I still sat alone. But then, a girl yay high, long black hair, dark skin, with no doubt sat next to me. She spoke to the girl in front of her, I assume they knew each other, then I knew that they went to the same junior high. No wonder. But she still sat next to me, and introduce herself without any doubt about it she told me any affairs and rumors that's been going through the people that went to the same junior high with her and going to the same high school. You can say that she barely knew me but she introduce me to the world I just get into. The community that's out of my range. I just knew. She's pretty much my counselor through my first year in high school. Better yet, we got into the softball team together. Pretty much do everything together. Being bad together whatsoever. But it's the memories I would never forget. Even both of us are the last one it the class and our homeroom teacher threaten us that we would never pass 10th grade and have to repeat it next year. But then, both of us got back on our feet and work as hard as we could. WE PASSED! All of the teachers that thought us said that we would never got into the same class again (ever). I just think that as a threat, but they were right, we never got into the same class until graduation. But that didn't separate us (not at all!), we're still best friends, teammates, partymates, the-go-to-person and anything you could imagine in friendship. Her house was a go to place anytime I came home late. I remember one time we skipped school and went to my house instead (note: my house is 2 hours away from our school)

But then after we graduated, I went into Law School in some univ in Jakarta. She attended some foundation for studying in France. I've never imagine she'd go to France this fast, I would think as 2 years or more. But there she goes. She went to France to pursuit her dreams. The life she's been dreaming her whole life. And one thing I know : She will do great.

Good Luck, Una! We miss you already :')